Today my husband and I are celebrating our one year wedding anniversary. We are both in shock that we have made it a year already. As the old saying goes, “The first year is the hardest”. I don’t know if that is true or just an old saying. But here is what I learned in my first year of marriage…
Men are gross… Dirt does not bother them one little bit. The three second rule does not apply when food falls on the floor. There are is no need to wash your hands, ever. When you are wearing your last pair of clean underwear, no worries, just turn them inside out.
Men do contribute to household chores… When it comes to dirty laundry, the floor is the best place to find it. When it comes to dishes you can guarantee every glass in the household has been used. And there is little chance that when he starts a project any thing will go back where he found it.
Men are an expert at sleep deprivation… At least when it comes to fishing. He will go without sleep for days to indulge in his favorite hobby. But under no circumstances are you to interrupt his slumber for any other reason what so ever.
Men can only survive on junk food and the like… The old saying, “It’s the thought that counts”, does not apply to cooking healthy ever. Forget low fat, reduced fat, non-fat anything. If you attempt to cook with any ingredients with these types of labels he will assume you are trying to kill him.
Lastly, do not assume that because he knows it is your birthday, anniversary, etc, that he will remember he has to do anything about it. If you want the best birthday ever… go buy that gorgeous piece of jewelry you have been eyeballing, pick up your yummy dinner for two, and rent a movie from Comcast. Otherwise you are guaranteed that he will have a blank look on his face when you ask him what day it is.
Mike, you have one very happy wife.